When I turned 50, I was not celebrating. I was feeling sorry for myself.
I was looking in the mirror and I was feeling old.
Suddenly, a memory hit me like a blast of sobering air.
Here I was, me, myself, on my 30th birthday. And I had the nerve to look in the mirror and feel old!
Old?! Look at this ungrateful young lady! At the age of 30?
I watched her being so unhappy about her body (it was too skinny at 30 and not sexy enough). I watched her being so worried about other people’s judgments.
And I wanted to scream, “Look at you! You are young and full of life. Your senses can feast freely on life’s beauty. You can dance and prance and savor those precious moments. Why you are so worried about those people? Why you fear their judgment? They are not living your life! Live now! Live you!”
And then suddenly, when I was in the midst of my righteous outrage, I saw another woman flying toward me from the direction of my future. And she looked old and furious.
She screamed at me, “Look at you, you ungrateful young lady! You are 50! You have this gorgeous body full of life. And here you are, wasting your moments, feeling sorry for yourself. Live now! Live you!”
In horror, I recognized her. She was me at the age of 70.
We sat together – three selves of my womanhood in three seasons of life.
I thanked the younger me for being strong enough to survive and foolish enough to make my life story interesting and filled with adventures.
And I thanked the older me for giving me the message. And I promised her that I will do everything in my power to make sure she will experience being 70 and she will be healthy and strong enough to be able to get the most of this unique season of life in a strong, agile body, with a healthy, resilient mind and balanced emotions.
And I told them both that they are beautiful. And we held each other tight and cried together. And then with my 70-year-old future self we started making plans for meeting my 90-year-old future self on my 70th birthday.
We promise each other to make my 90-year old self proud and ready to meet my 110-year old self.
Today, at the age of 54, I know for sure – aging is a challenge for the body, mind and spirit. It is a journey which requires readiness and knowledge. No matter what cosmetics you use, what food you eat and what exercise program you follow, the body will age if you live long enough.
So the older you are, the more important it is to have a mind which uplifts and supports the body. And the older is the body, the more important it is to ensure it has enough energy for repair and regeneration, so it could continue to provide a strong and secure home for your mind, soul and spirit.
P.S. My expertise is combining Taoist Feminine Vitality Qigong practices which I’m certified to teach with beautiful tools of hypnotherapy. I’m trained in transpersonal hypnosis, have spiritual counseling training and certification and I love witnessing my clients blossoming in radiant energy and ageless beauty. Message me if you feel you resonate with my teachings and energy. I do Zoom and outdoor sessions.
P.S.S Yes, I’m writing a book.