Imagine someone at the piano, making a dramatic pause and then proceeding to hit the same key in the same manner over and over again. How long will you be able to listen to it, before you scream – Enough!
Yet, when it comes to emotional reactions, many people learned to stay within a very limited range of responses. Often, they feel as if they didn’t have any choice in how to respond to a certain trigger.
“Of course, I got angry! She had no business talking to me this way!”
“How else can I feel, when I you give me this look?”
“Because he left me, I can never be happy.”
“I always feel nervous, when I have to speak in public.”
Most people cannot even imagine responding in a different way. And even when they do, they usually come up with a very limited number of options.
“So you feel nervous, when you speak in public? How would you rather feel?”
“Err… Not nervous?”
“What if you had a treasure chest filled with every possible feeling. How would you like to feel?”
“I want to be confident?”
“I don’t know…Happy?”
Now, imagine what if you started thinking about your neurology as an orchestra with a multitude of musical instruments, capable of infinite variety of sounds? What if you opened yourself to possibilities of experiencing a much wider range of emotions? Much. Much wider.
There was time I was so terrified of speaking in front of people, I couldn’t have imagined feeling anything else. Then, as I kept discovering possibilities opening for me with NLP and hypnosis tools, I started dreaming about being confident. Today, looking back I can see how limited my fantasy was. Just confident? That’s all? How about feeling joyful? How about having fun? What about accepted, loved, open, free, flowing, flexible, outrageous, curious, courageous and connected? Having a wide range of rich, vibrant, powerful feelings allows me to create a symphonic experience for my audience.
What about in personal relationships? Imagine if instead of always feeling hurt, when he forgets your birthday, you had an easy access to a wide variety of responses. For example, compassion (is he forgetful? Is he too busy? Maybe he never learned to pay attention to other people’s birthdays?). Curiosity – I wonder how he does it – how he forgets something that happens the same time every year). Mischief – OK, mister, you forgot my birthday… what shall I do about it? Understanding – I know he loves me, even though he sometimes forgets important dates. Or how about love – I love him even though he is forgetful.
How do you decide which response is the best? I learned to think about my goals. How do I want to feel? How do I want my responce to influence others and my future? What do I want and which frame of thinking will get me there in a fastest and most enjoyable way.
As you try on different responses, you too will be able to find those that are both useful and enjoyable.
Most importantly as you widen your range of emotional responses, your life will acquire symphonic qualities – power, richness and depth of experiences.