I HAD TO LEARN HOW TO LOVE MYSELF.
This blurry photograph of my father is a blown-up shot from another photograph.
Here it is.
Pictured here with my twin daughters, 25 years ago, he looks more like a father to them than grandfather – so young and handsome.
He is still a handsome man even now, approaching 80.
I grew up with two step-fathers. Not at the same time, of course. My heart, of course, as a child, belonged to my handsome father.
My mother and my father separated when I was very young, so I don’t even remember living with him. The more I loved those rare times we would spend together.
Laughing. Talking. He was so funny. Oh, the stories he was telling me! Oh, and how handsome he was.
I remember looking at fathers of other children and thinking, “My father is so much more handsome.”
I never remember my father getting angry. He never shouted. But I remember every instance when he was displeased.
Oh, how my heart fell, oh, how it ached!
Isn’t it amazing how deep something as simple as a displeased comment – just one phrase – said in a displeased tone, can hurt.
“Anna, is this the best dress you could find for our trip to a theater?”
“Anna, you do not need this red paint on your nails. You are a girl with brains.”
“Anna, if you worked really hard, you would get rid of your stutter by now.”
And being a little girl with my heart in love, missing my father so badly, seeing him so rarely, here I was, in my head, whispering, “I thought you would love this dress. I thought you would love my painted nails. I thought you would love my voice even though I stutter.”
HERE IS MY PLEA TO ALL THE FATHERS OUT THERE.
SPEAK TO YOUR DAUGHTERS WITH LOVE. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM. IT IS SO IMPORTANT FOR A CHILD TO KNOW THAT SHE IS DESERVING OF LOVE.
The way you talk to your daughter will become her internal voice, when she grows up.
The way you react to her mistakes, will become her response to own mistakes.
Whether you like it or not, you are the most powerful programmer and hypnotist in your daughter’s life.
She won’t stop loving you. But she will try to look at herself through your eyes and wonder if she deserves love.
Look at her through the eyes of love.
Speak to her from a place of love.
It is so important.
THERE ARE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEIR FATHERS, WHO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, WHO LOVE THEIR NEIGHBORS… AND WHO NEVER LEARNED TO LOVE THEMSELVES.
”Loving myself?!”, I laughed, when I was first introduced to this idea. “Oh, you do not know me. I have so much work to do before I can love myself!”
You too may be doubtful if you are worthy of love. You too may constantly need somebody – your partner, your boss, people on Facebook – to tell you that you are valuable. To tell you that you are lovable.
But hear me out. When I learned to love myself without conditions, I was able to truly love my father.
Yes, only when I removed all the hurts and heartaches wrapped around my insecurities, only when I stopped desperately wanting to please a man who was not even aware of my efforts, only when I asserted my own self-worth, could I truly love my father with all his imperfections.
My father… Perfectly imperfect. With his own pains and hurts and heartbreaks. With his own mistakes and gifts. The real human being.
I believe the best gift we can give to our parents is to keep relentlessly removing unconscious hurts and old programming.
Because our time on this planet is limited.
And whether you love your father now or treasure a loving (or painful) memory of him, he deserves to be now free from your story.
He can stop now be responsible for your feeling of disappointment and heartbreak.
Set him free!
Actually, set everybody free from whom you needed a validation.
I am grateful that my journey of overcoming stuttering brought me to the depth of my troubled relationship with my father in a way which released him and his energy from my deep mind.
It was something I never expected to receive. A gift of seeing my father as a real human being.
A gift of loving him from a place of compassion and emotional wisdom.
It is my honor as a hypnotherapist to guide women to their own wisdom, self-compassion and self-love.
Because no matter how much you love your father, it is no longer his job to make you feel loved, happy and worthy.
Because no matter how much you love a man, it is not his job to make you feel good about yourself.
It is your job to love yourself, to be complete, to be healed, so you can become your beautiful, radiant self, a healing presence in this world.
P.S. If you feel guided to work with me, reach out for a free consultation.
Hypnosis is very different from therapy or coaching.
Hypnosis is a relaxed and open state of mind, where your transcend space and time, where your logical self steps back and your inner wisdom steps forward.
It is a state in which your mind becomes a healer.
Hypnosis helped me remove deep hurts which I carried for decades.
Hypnosis and energy work I do opened me to deep self love.
Hypnosis helped me to not just love my father, but see him and accept him completely and unconditionally.
This is why I do it and this is why I serve others.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY, FATHER. SENDING YOU LOVE💖🌹